While many profess not to care what others think, we are, in the end, creatures who want and need to fit into a social universe. Humans are psychologically suited to interdependence. Social anxiety is really just an innate response to the threat of exclusion; feeling that we're not accepted by a group leaves us agitated and depressed.

The ability to intuit how people see us is what enables us to authentically connect to others and to reap the deep satisfaction that comes with those ties. We can never be a fly on the wall to our own personality dissections, watching as people pick us apart after meeting us. Hence we are left to rely on the accuracy of what psychologists call our "metaperceptions" -- the ideas we have about others' ideas about us.

The bottom line: It comes down to what you think about yourself

Your ideas about what others think of you hinge on your self-concept -- your own beliefs about who you are.


don't I look gorgeous today?

The top line: You probably do know what people think of you


But it's likely you don't know any one person's assessment. We have a fairly stable view of ourselves. We expect other people to see that same view immediately." And they do. On average there is consensus about how you come off.

Many of the most unpleasant shades on our emotional palettes — embarrassment, shame, envy exist solely in the interpersonal realm. We cannot feel them until we are self-aware enough to worry what others think about us.

Perhaps the delicate balance between feeling good about yourself and knowing exactly how you come off is best maintained not by all those elusive "others."
Maybe it's maintained by your most significant ones, the people who will keep you in line but appreciate you for who you are, not just for the impressions you leave behind. (aka your loved ones)

So my bottom line is: Be yourself, Be happy about yourself, Be aware that how you see yourself is most important, Don't worry about what 'others' think of you and trust that your nearest and dearest will keep you in line about how you come off!