The search for the missing MOJO

Is it almost a month since my last post?
To be honest it actually feels a lot longer.

What have I been up to all this time?
I think it would be fairly obvious that I've been on the look-out for my Tracyness aka my MOJO.
Life without your mojo is after all no life at all.

Before I could start the search I had to determine what was actually missing. Then I had to recount when I thought I had last caught a glimpse of it, to pinpoint where it could have gone missing.
So, my Tracyness, this mojo of mine is what is missing. Surely it was there in April, but was it there in May? Is this the moment it vanished into thin air?
I started thinking about my missing Mojo and where it had gone. I thought and I thought, I consulted an expert and yes, I even cried!



It was during the consult with the expert (yes there are Tracy experts out there, scary but true) that it was brought to my attention that I might be over reacting. (Me over react?)
That I might be exaggerating the extent of the missing mojo. ( Me exaggerate?)
That I might be worrying about things not worth worrying about. (Me worry about worryless things?)
That me thinking my Mojo is missing is crap, there for I'm full of shit. (Me, full of shit?)
I know, this doesn't sound like me at all.
I'm not a full of shit, over reacting, exaggerating worry wart! (please have mercy, no comments on this part, thank you.)
I was not taking this lying down. The evidence of my missing mojo was so overwhelming, how could anyone mistake it for over reaction and crap? I know it sounds absurd. If you read this in a book, you probably wouldn't believe it.
But never the less, it got me thinking. The expert is a Tracy expert (probably for good reason) after all.
Could it be true? Could I be worrying about nothing? But surely all the overwhelming evidence is proof of the missing mojo?!!

As I set out to prove this expert wrong a tiny fleeting moment of doubt washed over me.

Lets take a look at the overwhelming evidence, shall we?
1) The meeting at work with the director and all my oohing and aahing.
2) My cousins wedding gift, or to be more precise the lack of a proper wedding gift.
3) My indecisiveness to where I get my next munchies.
4) The 2 day workers council debacle in nijmegen where I proved my simplemindedness.
I think this proves the lack of Mojo, don't you?

According to the expert, it's al pretty normal and accountable for.
According to the expert numbers 1 and 4 should be looked at together. Both to do with work, both to do with not enough preparation and a lack of motivation, which could point to the necessity of a holiday.
According to this same expert the lack of inspiration for my cousins wedding gift could be put down to the fact that I have not seen this cousin since I was fifteen, there for I know nothing about this cousin, there for It would be understandably hard to think of a special personal gift for this cousin.
So you think this expert is on the ball, huh?
But what about number three? Number three, the most important one, for it has to do with munchies!
Well, according to the expert number 3 is definitely nothing to worry about. It doesn't necessarily mean a lack of decisiveness but could be a show of maturity. (hopefully the expert doesn't mean mature like cheese; smelly and falling apart). When growing up and becoming mature your priorities change and you put less importance in the small things like where to get your next munchie fix.


Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying munchies aren't important.

After mulling over what the expert said and drying my tears I was left with a decision to make.
So I said to my self, Tracy my dear ( Yep, still referring to myself like that) you can stick to our guns that your Mojo is missing, feel sorry for yourself and shed even more tears,
or you can opt for the mature option (not the smelly falling apart cheesy type) and go with what the expert said.
And that's how with my Mojo in tact I've taken time of and booked a holiday to Jamaica, I've improvised on the wedding gift for my cousin and I'm as happy as a tornado in a trailer park.

It's hotter

..than being schlepped through the desert on the back of a snail!

To all it must be obvious that if you've been schlepped through the desert by anything let alone a snail you need to cool off!



But back to the business at hand, my blog.
I have been getting complaints. Complaints about the non-existence of updates on my blog and to be honest I have been neglecting it just a teensy weensy wee bit.
This is not due to my laziness (some might beg to differ on this one) or a lack of interest but solely because of a serious lack of Tracyness!

It must be quite a few weeks ago now, when I first noticed the absence of my Tracyness. Of course at that moment in time I had no idea that it was a lack of Tracyness I was suffering from.
I had a meeting at work and I found myself saying no more than, uh yeah, yeah right, okay, yeah cool.
I actually said Yeah cool!! Normally that's pretty bad, but you feel pretty darn stupid when this is all you can say to the company director. But I thought to myself; Tracy my dear (that's how I refer to myself) you're having an off day. Can happen to anyone and so it was, I put it right out of my mind.

Right out of my mind, for at least a day or three that is. It was then the wedding invitation arrived. My cousin's getting married and the invite was rolled up in a bottle with a ribbon around it. The invitation itself isn't very significant to the lack of Tracyness, but what to do for a present is. Normally I'm full of idea's. I'm bursting at the seams with great inspiration and all geared up for the preparation, but not this time! No Sirree... not a drop of inspiration in sight and this puzzled me.
But I thought to myself; Tracy my dear, you're having an off week. Can happen to anyone and so it was, once again I put it almost right out of my mind.

Right out of my mind, for at least a day or four maybe even five. It was then I was driving along (also known to many as cruising) and my friend asked where I wanted to go to get munchies? Where did I want to go? How should I know where I want to go?! So again, all I could answer was; uh yeah.. ah.. uh, doh... I don't know. I didn't know where I wanted to go to get food?
So once again I thought to myself; Tracy my dear, you're having an off Month?!! Can happen to anyone, nothing to worry about! Just put it right out of your mind.
But can you have an off month? Can it happen to anyone? Is it something random? Nothing to worry about? But worried I was!
Though I do have to mention that the lack of Tracyness here was well compensated by my friend who steered us to a pancake place at the maas. Where I discovered the best banana and cinnamon pancakes ever.

So it was a little worried that I embarked on my two day trip with the workers council to a resort near Nijmegen. We spent two gloriously sunny days getting to know the new members and each other better. Two days in which I uttered a total of hundred twenty oh's, thirty five yeah's and uncountable other insignificant mutterings.
It doesn't help matters either when your mind keeps wondering off to other more important matters such as, when's lunch? (not for another 3 hours), how late do we stop today? (not for another 81/2 hours or what are they talking about? Did I just fall asleep? Would anybody notice if I just put my head down and had a wee sleep? Nope that doesn't help matters one wee bit.
Nothing useful formed in my brain let alone came out of my mouth. I couldn't get any further than the most simple of sentences.
Here in Holland you have a children's book series called Jip and Janneke and I have to admit I think I have become Janneke.
It is here that I finally put my finger on what is wrong, A total lack of Tracyness.
I didn't like to mention this to the other members of the workers council, I thought it might worry them just the slightest wee bit to be stuck in an isolated resort for two full days with a fruit loop. So I'm sure they just think I'm simple. (which hopefully will prove to have it's advantages)
All there is left, is for me to think to myself; Tracy my dear, you have lost your Tracyness, or as Austin Powers would say, and he says it so well;
I have lost my MOJO!!