Something to make you smile,

- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He Thought he was God and I didn't.

- I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

- I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill Them.

- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

- Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

- I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

- God must love stupid people; He made so many.



- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

- Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

- Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!